Rose early and off to my office
After playing the fool with young Nell
And thinking a while in my study
Of mon plaisir I had had avec elle.

I do see my nature’s unconquered,
Music and women I cannot refuse
Esteeming these pleasures above all else,
‘Tho my business I most surely abuse.

The Duke of York hath got with child
My Lord Chancellor’s daughter Sally
Who claims there be, on oath of blood,
An agreement that they shall marry.

Whoever do get a wench with child
Then promise that they’ll be wed
Is as if a man should piss in his hat
And then clap it upon his head.

To church and there saw a wedding,
Young people in merry delight;
What pleasure we married people have
To see others decoyed in a similar plight.

So apt is my nature to evil
Once set upon pleasure again
That I’m down to Deptford by boat
For a bout with the wife of a friend.

Strange how a brave, bucksome woman,
Professing great pretence to adore
Her husband, her family, her religion,
May behave like a Drury Lane whore.

And so to my home and to dinner,
A most handsomely served meal
Of a dozen plump larks, all in a pie,
Some prawns and a shoulder of veal.

The claret has left me quite fuddled,
The brandy has gone straight to my head:
I played awhile with the breasts of our Nell
And being sated therewith, so to bed.