Sometimes a fast food snack just hits the spot, and so…..
‘Hi, how’s your day been?’
‘It’s only 11am, but so far, so good.’ Having completed the pleasantries, I get down to business.
‘I’ll have the Medium Original Recipe chicken with large gravy, small fries and a large Low Carbs Chocolate Smoothie’.
‘Breast, legs, wings or nuggets?’
‘Would you like the Jumbo Box?’
‘Just the two legs, thanks.’
Later: ‘Excuse me, I ordered legs and these are breast.’
Later: ‘The Manager says they’re ribs, not breast.’
I’m about to ask the assistant what she thinks the breast is attached to but realise there’s no sense in arguing anatomy with a sulky juvenile with a washer hanging from her nostril, so I select some new a la carte items.
‘OK, give me a Monster Scrunchburger with medium ChiliFries and a large Coke.’
Nothing diminishes a man’s self esteem more than reciting items from a fast food menu.
‘Would you like to upgrade that to a Family Combo Pack and save yourself $.69 cents?’
‘How does the upgraded package differ from my original order?’
‘It’s the same except you get a large ChiliFries.’ Still pondering on the economics of this proposal, I’m tempted with a new offer.
‘Would you like to add a side order of onion rings for $1,25; they come with a set of plastic figures based on the characters in Ironman 3?’
‘Can I skip the rings, pay the $1.25 and just get the figures for my grandson?’
‘Sorry. But listen, if you take our gluten-free tiramisu you get a chance to win a Hyundai.’
‘A high and dry?’